Here we are at year two of Covid. I don’t know about you, but I am weary. Yesterday I realized I miss the world. I’ve been holed up in my home office thinking I was lucky to be there at least, counting my blessings like a good human.

Last year I found it fascinating to watch how different people reacted when they got squeezed. Me included. This year I’m weary of that witnessing even. Crisis-living in a time of pandemic has been stressful in varying degrees. It’s only recently that I realized we’ve all been coping inside our own versions the 5 stages of grief. I oscillate between the first 5 steps - have yet to reach beyond that. Where are you here?

1. Shock and denial

2. Pain and guilt

3. Anger and bargaining

4. Depression

5. The upward turn

6. Reconstruction and working through

7. Acceptance and hope

Last fall I was a trooper, a warrior ready to face any enemy and protect my family at all costs. I was so sure of my convictions, my opinions and my conclusions. This fall I feel like fetal position is my best friend.

The past year has been a fuck-of-a year for our family. We lost both our Dads to the pandemic, we almost divorced and are holding it together by the skin of our 9 months of emerg marriage counselling. We’ve had two cats get deathly ill and one die at the end of months of palliative care, there’s been several fallings-out in our extended family with folks no longer speaking. My health has plummeted as a result of all that stress and too much cortisol. All of this with the backdrop feeling of not being able to go outside - like the world is a menacing, unpredictable place that cannot be trusted. Like your neighbours would turn on you in a second if it meant that just for a moment, they didn’t have to feel so afraid all of the time.

And yes still we get the kids to school, do the laundry, go to the dentist, get groceries, good work, sleep well.. but I am ready now, to jump ship at any moment. The forest is waiting and we will retreat if need be. That’s how dire it all is on some days.

It could be just sheer overwhelm. And when there’s kids involved, there’s that bit about mitigating trauma. In these crazy times the way forward is often unthinkable, mountainous, and potentially full of terrible choices. And yet, we must continue to show up.

I like this quote from Ralph Blum’s Book of Runes: “When the fisherman can’t fish, they repair their nets.” Or even, what’s that one… something about idle hands and too much thinking. In other words, in times like these, what do we do?

I’ve found again and again, that the best medicine in times of trouble has been to revisit those things that I know work and those things that I know fortify my foundations. Repair the nets, secure the walls, batten down the hatches! Under stress though, we forget to do these things - or it gets hard to remember why on earth we would do that thing.

Lately, the best thing I could do was to muster all of my strength and get outside, lie down on the grass and stare at the clouds. Or, get to the forest and walk it out. Or, get on my bike a ride to the water’s edge - any water. I am reminded again and again that simply connecting with Nature is an effective balm for illness, stress, anxiety. In the Peruvian shamanic tradition they say that you can bring any of your problems, your prayers to Nature and she will answer them - they mean this quite literally. 

And thus, returning to observations around the Wheel of the Year has been my go-to for the past decade, more than any other practice. No matter how entrenched we get in human activities, we are still a part of the great ecosystem of the earth, and our bodies know this even if our minds aren’t paying attention. Refocusing our awareness and remembering our intrinsic connection to the natural world in simple ways can be deeply soul-soothing… can be just the thing that gets us by, now more than ever.

MUSING ON THE FALL EQUINOX

September - Ever Hopeful and Full of Power

Because of back-to-school and end-of-summer vibes, there’s this energetic movement that propels us into the next season, in much that same way as New Years Eve propels us into the next year. Harnessing that energy with intention can really work magic.

The ancient Celts broke the year up into two halves - the light, masculine half and the dark, feminine half. On the Great Wheel, the upcoming Fall Equinox is that tipping point between them, when darkness overtakes the light, which sounds ominous under the circumstances. But not so much, when we consider this sacred wheel-cycle we live in in its entirety, where the earthly cycle goes from light to dark and back again. And, where the Solstices are places of power in the light and the dark, Equinoxes are more of a threshold - a pregnant pause. And in that pause, all dualities are in balance for a brief moment - good-evil, light-dark, masculine-feminine. It’s a powerful time to reflect, write about, talk about, do magic & ritual around this duality and where we are putting our energies.

The New Thanksgiving

The past few years, we’ve completely abandoned traditional Canadian/American Thanksgiving. Honestly I can’t believe we didn't do it sooner, being a family that is half First Nations.

My mom really had a hard time with is because she still wanted to give thanks for each other, the past year and our lives together. So we kept it up. But what I realized in the course of my studies, is that there’s still a way to be thankful and celebrate the harvest season with good friends and family, without upholding a holiday that is inappropriate and outdated. Fall Equinox harvest celebrations are much, much older and common worldwide in many of our ancestral lineages. And in the Americas, these were probably the basis for modern day Thanksgiving. Why not reclaim them in-lieu?

I call for the new (old) Thanksgiving! A holiday that is not celebrating colonialism or commemorating the birth of our so-called nations that have been founded on the spoils of war and genocide.

The Equinox belongs to everyone, just as Nature does - just as we belong to Her.

EQUINOX CORRESPONDENCES

Some Names Worldwide

The September equinox marked the first day of the French Republican Calendar
Mabon (Neo-Pagan)
Alban Elfed (Druidry)
Second Harvest (Europe)
Jashne Mihraga (Iran)
Chuseok (Korea)
Higan (Japan)
Dożynki (Slavic)

Symbolic Language

Balance and equilibrium
The Horn of Plenty
Apples and everything to do with them - cider, applesauce, magic. They represent regeneration, renewal, wholeness.
Acorns
Harvest
Reaping what we have sown
The meaning of death in our lives
Grapes, blackberries, wine
Giving thanks
Rest and celebration
Contemplation
Colours: green, red, brown, yellow, gold
Full Moon: Harvest Moon

Thing to Do

Wild food foraging and nature walks. Consider that few hours (or days) in silence & observation in nature that I mentioned above.

Harvest your garden & prepare it for the colder months.

Decorate your altar with the best seasonal fruits, berries and wildcrafted greens.

Build an outdoor shrine to the spirits of Place and your garden. Leave offerings of your harvest bounty there for them.

Build a cairn outdoors to commemorate your ancestors. Offerings can be left here as well.

Preserve your bounty - jams, jellies, pickles, preserves. Making berry wine was common at this harvest (mmm blackberry wine!). Plan a day with friends.

And of course have a huge feast with family and friends! Celebrate your thankfulness, gratitude and reverence for your life and the bounty of your own personal harvest.

Prep for winter: a pre-winter house clean is a great idea in September. Utilise that dynamic harvest energy!

If you want to get devotional, fast on the Equinox and meditate on the previous year and what you would have done differently.

Divination is common throughout this dark season.

Write and perform a ritual to restore balance and harmony to your life. Here’s some inspiration.

Do you have favourite Equinox traditions? What do you think about switching your Thanksgiving celebrations to the fall Equinox? Love to hear in the comments below.