Samhain working: Connecting With the Dead
Samhain is a time when I work with my ancestors. I communicate with and honour them all year round, but if I am going to work with them formally, I do it at this time of year when the veil is thin.
My grandfather was a master plumber and I am a homeowner. I wish he was still around to advise me and teach me, but he died when I was 13. He was a kind man, a veteran with shrapnel scars from the second world war on his chest, and built beautiful fountains and fireplaces out of the amethyst rock that was plentiful where he lived.
So when I have an issue with the plumbing in my house, I call on him as one of my beloved ancestors to support me and my intuition to repair it myself.
I have some framed pictures of him, my willful purple-pantsuit-wearing grandma and my formal, austere and prosperous other set of grandparents. I keep them in a special shelf in the cabinet where I store my magical objects. Some years I put them out on Samhain, make up a special Samhain altar to honour them, and some years I just look at them fondly, and thank them for all the help they have given me through the year.
If I have a coven or a ritual to go to, I say hello to my beloved ancestors and other beloved dead, and sometimes am lucky enough to communicate with them or with the gods for healing and blessing.
One year, during a Samhain ritual, in trance, I contacted a long past ancestress, with whom I shared a bond that I thought at the time may have meant she was one of my other lives. She blessed me as a relative and marked me with a crescent moon on my forehead.
CONNECTING WELL WITH THE DEAD
So believe me, I do think it is a good and useful thing to communicate with positive ancestors and other dead loved ones at this time of year. It is important, however, to do it in ways that do not drain you.
We usually connect to the dead through our third eye. An energetic cord forms when we make connection, reaching from us to them or from them to you. When this is active, you feel a live, present connection with your loved one and information flows through this channel, usually for a brief time.
How do people connect?
I find the simplest methods are often the most effective. I just reach for my beloved dead, with the same ‘muscles’ you’d use if you were reaching out to the divine in prayer. Call out to them with your energy and ask ‘are you there?’. Trust that they want to communicate with you and be open to what they say. Try to set aside what you want them to say, and just listen to what comes. It may take practice. This is a natural skill that most of us have, the ability to reach out in this way but we have been taught to disregard it.
Some people wonder (this happens in prayer too) if what they hear back is something they are making up or something ‘real’. If the something you hear is in general good advice, then you can go with your instinct on this, and over time you will get a feel for what is wishful thinking on your part and what is coming from an external source. If you are getting advice or commentary that isn’t helpful to you, then treat it as you would a real life person who is saying this to you – take what is useful to you and leave the rest.
DISCONNECTION IS IMPORTANT TOO
Sometimes, particularly when we are grieving, or if we think that being in contact with the dead makes us special and we want to extend that feeling, we can leave the line open.
This is about as helpful (and personally costly) as leaving a phone call open when there is no longer anyone on the other line, or there is nothing left to say. It is okay and right to close the connection. You can open it again when you are both ready to communicate again.
Leaving the line connected when there is no active connection occurring drains you.
If you are having trouble closing a connection with someone who has passed, here are some things to do:
Become entirely willing to let go of the contact – reassure yourself that you can reconnect again, that nothing will be lost by severing the connection for now.
Imagine your third eye as a camera aperture or other opening that closes from all sides. Feel it closing.
Experience any tension or cramping as a closed fist, by closing your fist. Then let your hand fall open, releasing your connection and letting any energy you have sent out, return to you, nourishing you for next time and restoring your wholeness.
RECOVERING IF YOU ARE FEELING DRAINED FROM CONNECTION WITH THE DEAD
Particularly if you have been feeling drained, if you have had headaches or an aching sensation in your third eye, make sure to restore your wholeness. Make sure you eat substantially. Eat something with protein and complex carbohydrate, which will help ground you. Drink some water.
SAMHAIN BLESSING
Enjoy connecting with ancestors and beloved dead this time of year. Just do it in a way that protects your wholeness and theirs. May the memory of your beloved dead be a blessing.
